Tag team back again!

So, do you ever think your kids conspire against you?  Even if one of them can't really talk yet?  I think my kids conspire to not let me get any sleep.  They tag team me. Truly.  For the first few nights of this week Lucas was the one crying out & waking me up in the middle of the night.  Last night, Lucas sleeps all night, but at 4am I hear, "Mommy!  ....  Mommy!"  coming from Jocelyn's room.  Her leg hurt (growing pains).  So, in a clouded huff I stumbled to the kitchen, poured the 2 teaspoons of Tylenol necessary, a small glass of milk & stumbled back to her room.  Gave her the meds & drink, chastised her for waking up & told her to go back to sleep as she turned on her tv.  Annoyed, I then tossed and turned for about 45 minutes while telling the dog multiple times to get off the bed (oh yeah, one 6'3" adult, one 5'4" adult & one 100lb Labrador do not fit well in a queen size bed...just in case anyone was wondering).  I finally fell asleep only to be shot out of bed when the alarm went off at 6am.  Yes, wonderful start to my day.

The day.....the meat & potatoes.....eh, same 'ol, same 'ol.  So much going on at work.  I feel so behind & so buried.  I hate that feeling.  I have over 600 emails in my inbox.  Unheard of for me.  It drives me nuts.  But, tomorrow is another day right?!  Yeah, that optimistic junk only gets me so far.  lol

We ordered in for dinner because I had to stay later for work and now, at almost 8:00pm we're all in our jammies watching 'Garfield'.  Jocelyn wants to play a game of Mastermind.....time for some fun! :)

Happy New Year!! 2012 is present & accounted for

Happy New Year!  A new year.....already?!  Ok, fine.  I can come to grips with that.  In many ways I'm ok with putting another year behind us.  I'm looking forward to a fresh start.  But, this year is going to be scary.  Probably the scariest year of my adult life (and after having 2 difficult pregnancies and not knowing what the next day would bring, that's pretty scary).  Many changes are due to come our way.....will get into them all later, but our world is soon to be changed.  So, I'm bracing myself, digging in and will roll with what comes.

So anyway, after a hectic, but pleasant holiday season, 2012 is here.  We spent New Years' Eve doing the same thing we've done for the last several years (probably 6 years, since Jocelyn was born).....we stayed home, played some games, ate shrimp & pizza and laughed a lot.  Jocelyn got a Connect 4 Launchers game for Christmas - lets just say the adults enjoyed it more than she did.  I had a few 'torched cherries' (cherry rum & coke) and was feeling nice.  My Connect 4 skills are awesome, if I do say so myself.  Matt was none too pleased that I kicked his butt several times. :)

Jocelyn tried to stay up until midnight, but ended up falling asleep at 11:00 - so close!  Matt & I watched the ball drop, had some champagne and watched some of the New Years' Rockin' Eve acts.  The cold that we've all been fighting for weeks felt it necessary to make it's presence known again and I had a non-stop cough upon trying to go to sleep.  I had one of those tickles in my throat that you just want to scratch with a wire grill brush.  I made my way to the couch to avoid keeping Matt awake, attempted water & used honey and just finally passed out at some point after the coughing convulsions subsided.  Of course, I was asleep for maybe all of a half hour before Lucas started crying.  I crawled into bed with him, got him settled & I suppose fell asleep at some point.  It doesn't feel like I slept though.  Not.One.Bit. 

So today I'm an ultra-lazy butt.  I even took a nap on the couch (not sure how I managed that).  I just have zero energy.  There is so much I could be doing and I find the guilt creeping in every now & then, but it is nice just to sit and do nothing for once.  Plus, there's always tomorrow.  One more day off before it's back to the grind....back to the daily routine.  Lovely.  Ok, I'm done thinking about that.  Matt is treating us to lasagna tonight and I'm hoping it's to bed early for everyone.

I need to start running again.....tomorrow night is it.  I cannot fall off the wagon again.  I know I feel so much better when I run.  This will be the year to stick to it.  No excuses.

Rollercoaster................of liiiiiiife.......

In the last few weeks I've felt like I've been on such an emotional rollercoaster.  Feelings of happiness have me runnin' high and then I get twisted into a circle only to be sent hurtling toward the ground to hit another low.  My anxiety has been at an all-time high lately, for various reasons.  Incredible sleep deprivation, injuries & daily behavior struggles have begun to wear on me.  So, it's time to turn it around and get back up to the top of the loop.......keep on keepin' on.

So I reference injuries above.  The good 'ol doc has diagnosed me with Rotator Cuff Tendonitis....a round of prednisone & anti-inflammatories did not get rid of it.  He initially said that was round one of treatment.  If that didn't work, round two involved a cortisone shot.  Bleh.  That's what I think of that.

Injury #2 - my knee.  I started running over a month ago.  Was doing great, was enjoying it, building up endurance, bought some new running gear making me feel all 'official' and then my knee started hurting.  I'm 2 weeks into resting my knee and it still hurts.  Argh.  Some way more experienced runners than me have suggested stretching, so I guess that's where I'll start.  I'm going to work on getting back into things after Thanksgiving.  As much as I don't want to, I'm going to let it rest more.

Jason is visiting this week.  The kids are having a blast with him.  He brought some FourLoko (caffeinated alcoholic drink) and we adults split them tonight.  I felt a bit buzzed, but now, the sleepies have set in.  I have a date with my pillow in a few minutes.  Hoping that this is the night Luke sleeps all night in his bed.  Ok, wishful thinking.  He hasn't done that in who knows how long.

Tomorrow is shopping for Jocelyn's birthday & just relaxing in general.  Looking forward to it!

Struggles

Not sure where to turn lately.  I'm struggling to come to grips with Jocelyn's behavior.  She turns on a dime and goes from my sweet baby girl to a raging ball of anger.  I feel broken.  I feel like I'm somehow causing it, but don't know how.  I feel like maybe I've been too easy on her until now and she just expects things to go her way.  I feel confused.  I don't know how to help her.  We had a horrible battle last night that resulted in me removing her tv from her room and losing my composure.  Nothing seems to make a dent in her attitude.  She doesn't understand that she has to follow the rules.  I've failed as a parent in making sure she has had discipline.

So where do we go from here?  I'm trying to sort that out.  I just don't know.  It sickens me that we struggle as we do.  Heck, this morning we had another battle before taking her to daycare.  I want it to stop.  It NEEDS to stop.  It's not fair to her or anyone else in our family.  I'm trying to do some research and am hoping to find some good advice and guidance for getting through this.

Keep on truckin'

I've come to a point in my life where I'm really trying to just let things roll as they will.  Some days I succeed, some days I don't.  But I'm trying.  Life circumstances haven't made it easy to have that outlook lately, but I'm determined to triumph.  I will choose to be happy.  :)

I believe mother nature is having an identity crisis lately.  One day it's warm, the next it's cold, the next warm, the next cold.  And so on and so forth.  Mother Nature, here is my plea to you: Please figure out that you like the warmth and let it be warm!  The rollercoaster temps have caused all of us to be hit with some sort of nasty chesty/croupy cough.  Not fun.  The kids are feeling the worst of it.  Luke is still on antibiotics from his sinus infection and the cough is so bad for him that we've been giving him daily nebulizer treatments.  Jocelyn is developing the same cough.  The bad part for her is that when she starts to feel off or not well, she gets grumpy.  I know it's hard for kids to cope when they don't feel well, but it's hard for mommy & daddy to cope when she's not feeling well AND she's grumpy and not listening. 

I'm looking forward to the upcoming weekend.  It's been a long, drawn-out emotional week that has left me drained.  I have 2 things I'd like to accomplish this weekend, so hopefully I get to do that.  We shall see.

Hot dogs, crackers & fries.....oh my!

I feel like Lucas lives off of hotdogs, crackers & french fries.  Ok, so he eats more than that, but not a lot.  I can squeeze in some Ramen noodles and some mashed potatoes every now and then.  He's not big on mac n' cheese, which is surprising, cause well, he's a kid and most seem to dig that.  Ah well, he's eating, that's what matters.  I know his taste will grow as he does.

We're having a mommy & Lukey afternoon while Jocelyn & daddy have some golf bonding time.  They're at the driving range.  The temperature says its about 54 degrees, but it still doesn't look all that warm out.  Hope they're having fun.  All of us have been feeling cabin feverish this weekend, all stuck in the house.  Lukey is working on a late lunch since he napped from 12 - 1:30.  He's actually entertaining himself by clapping in the highchair now.....oh, that and throwing bits of hotdog over the edge to Boomer. 

This weekend has been less than productive.  I have been so tired & haven't felt all that great.  Lucas is recovering from a sinus infection and has been waking at night.  I thought I'd get caught up on sleep this weekend, but that hasn't happened.  Oh well, back to the routine tomorrow....hopefully we can settle back into a restful pattern.      One can wish can't they?! :)

Excuse me? My glass is half full, looks like you need a refill....

When did it become the norm for folks to be rude? To be so selfish & wrapped up in their own lives that they feel they can talk to anyone in any manner that they please. Be friendly, be respectful, be genuine........try it, you might like it!

I know what kind of world we live in. I'm not disillusioned. I don't expect everyone to skip around smiling, humming and picking daisies (heck, I don't even want to do that!). I do expect that when I'm talked to, no matter who you are, that you treat me with respect. You don't have to like me, but don't disrespect me. You don't have to like what I'm asking of you. I can even excuse a bad day. We all have 'em. Some more-so than others it seems, but it can be forgiven. Afterall, we're all human. I just don't understand the feelings of entitlement and portrayal that one is being inconvenienced when I'm merely calling upon them to do their job. A job that they most likely opted to take of their own free will. If it's that bad, leave. Find another. Why be snarky?

As I get older many things become more clear (despite declining eyesight!). Life is absolutely too short and too precious to walk around in a funk, mad at the world, sad for oneself and oozing feelings of 'woe is me'. We create our successes. We also create our failures. What good does it do to sit and wallow in self-pity or be the biggest meanie to everyone around us? It certainly doesn't get you any further than before and probably sets you back.


I also don't understand why no one does anything NICE for anyone anymore.  I'm not talking about holding the door so it doesn't slam in your coworkers face on the way out of the building 'nice'.  I'm talking about genuinely nice.  My 5 year old daughter asked to buy a small gift for her 3 little neighbor friends the other day.  Unprompted, no expectations, wanted to use her own money 'just because'.  That is genuinely nice.  And that is exactly what we did.  It made her friends happy, which in turn made her happy. When do we lose that as we transition from childhood to adulthood?  When does it become all about 'me'?  Me me me.

I get caught up in some thought processes at times and this is one of them.  Heavy stuff for my little 'ol brain on a Monday.